It’s a weird thing to realize you’ve started perimenopause. It sneaks in like a roommate who never signed a lease—throwing off your sleep, rearranging your mood, messing with your body in a dozen subtle and not-so-subtle ways. But let’s be clear:
this isn’t some slow fade into irrelevance. This is a new chapter, and no, it doesn’t have to be miserable. There’s no shame in being thrown off balance, but there’s power in learning to steady yourself again. The mental toll is real, and so is your ability to handle it.
The Mental Fog Has Layers
Brain fog isn’t just forgetting your phone in the fridge. It’s losing track of what you were saying mid-sentence. It’s staring at a task you used to knock out in ten minutes, now taking an hour and still feeling like you’re slogging through molasses. You’re not losing your intelligence.
You’re not becoming less competent. Your brain’s dealing with shifting hormones, particularly estrogen and progesterone, which play a major role in mood, memory, and concentration. The fog can feel like failure, but it’s not. It’s chemistry.
One of the most helpful things you can do is tell the truth about how you’re feeling, even when it’s not pretty. You don’t need a therapist every time something feels off, but having someone you can talk to without filtering is a lifeline. The mental load gets heavier when you pretend everything’s fine. Even just naming what you’re going through can crack open some light.
Mood Swings Aren’t Just a Joke
People like to make perimenopause sound like one long hormonal punchline. The truth is, mood shifts can be incredibly destabilizing. One morning you wake up crying over a cup of tea, the next you’re completely flat. It’s not just sadness—it’s apathy, irritability, even rage that feels disproportionate to what’s happening.
This doesn’t mean you’re broken or emotionally unstable. Your body’s adjusting to a different hormonal rhythm, and your nervous system feels that. It’s smart to be proactive instead of waiting for these shifts to control your life.
That could mean therapy, medication, boundaries, or changing your routine to something that actually works with who you are now, not who you used to be five years ago. You’re allowed to pivot. You’re allowed to not be chill about everything. That doesn’t make you weak. That makes you honest.
Movement Is About Sanity, Not Size
The fitness industry has done a number on how we view movement, especially for women in midlife. Somewhere along the way, the idea got twisted into punishment for aging, like you have to out-run menopause to stay desirable or valid. That’s garbage.
Your nervous system, your sleep, your mental health—they all benefit when you move your body. The goal isn’t shrinking; the goal is feeling like yourself again. What helps is redefining what counts. You don’t need bootcamps and kale smoothies if that’s not your thing. Walk. Stretch. Dance in your kitchen.
Try new things, things that are built for this season. Water-based workouts, for example, take pressure off joints and help regulate body temperature while still getting endorphins flowing. Places that offer gyms with pools are an underrated win. The low-impact movement mixed with water’s natural resistance hits that sweet spot of effort without punishment. It’s calming. It’s effective. And it doesn’t leave you wrecked for two days after.
Sleep Is Where the Cracks Show Up First
Insomnia during perimenopause is not a joke, and it doesn’t always respond to the usual tricks. You might fall asleep easily, only to be wide awake from 2 to 5 a.m., riddled with racing thoughts and a thermostat that seems possessed. Sleep disruptions don’t just make you tired—they make everything harder to cope with, from minor stress to full-on anxiety. Instead of reaching for more caffeine and powering through, try working with your body, not against it. Dial
down screen time in the late evening, and stop pretending blue light filters are magic. Rethink what you’re eating and drinking at night—alcohol in particular messes with your REM cycle even when it knocks you out at first. You don’t have to become a monk, but small shifts help. Also: yoga.
Not the influencer kind, not the intimidating classes where everyone’s doing handstands. Just basic, slow, grounding movement paired with deep breathing. It signals to your body that you’re safe, and that helps bring down cortisol. Which helps sleep. Which helps everything else.
You’re Still You (And Then Some)
Perimenopause doesn’t erase your identity. It might blur it for a while, but that’s not the same as losing it. Your mind, your body, your patience—they all get tested in new ways. But they also adapt. And the more you meet yourself with curiosity instead of judgment, the easier it is to stop fighting every little change.
You get to reevaluate what matters, what doesn’t, what drains you, and what builds you back up. You might decide to say no more often. You might care less about being liked. You might stop explaining yourself to people who haven’t earned the right to hear your truth. That’s growth.
That’s maturity. And that’s not a crisis—it’s a shift. The hormonal rollercoaster won’t last forever. But the perspective you gain from riding it with your eyes open? That’s yours to keep.
No One Is Coming To Rescue You (But You Don’t Need Them To)
This phase of life isn’t something you need to “get through” like a bad haircut. It’s worth meeting with full awareness, even when it’s uncomfortable. There’s power in knowing what’s happening to your body. There’s clarity in admitting what you need. You don’t have to settle for survival mode.
There are tools, there’s support, and there’s nothing embarrassing about using every one of them. You’ve been carrying people, responsibilities, expectations for a long time. It’s okay if you decide to carry yourself first.
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